Smile

"Smile though your heart is aching

Smile even though it's breaking."

                                                  ~ Charlie Chaplin


Being surrounded by so many talented people can be both a blessing and a curse. No matter how considerate or humble a person is, the pain of not being good enough will always hurt just as much as it did the first time. 

It is so hard not to blame individuals who were chosen over you. If you walk into a friendship group made up of those working the same field as you, then you need to prepare yourself for these situations. You need to remind yourself each and every day that you are all different, you are all talented in your own right and no competition, title, fan club, organisation or opinion can take that away from you.

There will come a time where you need to take your turn in the back seat whilst they venture out under the super trouper's rage. You will need to make sacrifices, you will need to be considerate and you will need to remember that your success does not define you. And hopefully one day they will do the same for you. 

When they gain an opportunity over you, remind yourself they have the right to feel proud of themselves too, just like you would. And as a friend you should feel proud of them, because if the roles were reversed, remind yourself of how much you would want them to support you with your achievements. 

Smiling even though your heart is aching is one of the hardest things to do, but remind yourself that there is no point in crying, smiling makes life more worthwhile. As some famously talented guy once said. 

Moments

Life is short and uncertain. It's like a thread of moments, woven together into one beautiful story, and we all have one. No matter how hard someone's chapter becomes, there's still a silver lining after every page. Like the sunrise, like how green the grass is after a thunderstorm, like the city skyline and the lingering smell of perfume your mother leaves down the stairs before she goes out.

It's 2am and I can't sleep, panicked over the fact that in a moment this will all be gone. My bed, my clothes, my room, my beautiful furry little companion sat beside me (bella my kitty). And when it is, what do I leave behind? In 100 years time, will anyone know who I am? Or who you are?

But then I remember, I'm not living for anyone else, I'm not living for a legacy, I'm living for me. So in 100 years time if no one remembers my name, I've seen the sunset along the shore with my toes in the sand on San Antonio Bay and that's good enough for me. And for a day have you ever tried living like every moment is your last? Try it, it's like a permanent high. The air feels so much fresher, the buildings become new again, the cars suddenly become so much more spectacular and the people...there are so many people. Ever thought about that? There's millions of them, they all have thoughts, stories, loved ones, pain, excitement, dreams and a past. Sometimes I forget that and feel like I'm the only person in the world with a running conscience, like no one else talks to themselves. Spectacular isn't it? How we all have thoughts...

Back to my point....moments...this is one. Right now you're reading this and in a moment you won't. Wonder if it's made any difference to your life. It's just a few sentences strung together....like moments....a thread of moments, woven together into one beautiful story, and we all have one.