Wanna know a secret? They all feel like this too on occasion.
The first thing to remember about happiness is, no one is happy all the time. No one.
If you were always happy, there'd be nothing to look forward to, nothing to treasure whilst it lasted. I firmly believe we're brought down to appreciate the times we sit at the top.
- Be confident in yourself. Appreciate everything that makes you different and unique. They don't always have to be embarrassing qualities you hide away, when you embrace yourself so will everyone else. Like how I have jet black hair. So often I moaned about how dull I thought it was, how when I wore a black top my hair could barely be noticed. Last summer I even coloured it slightly just to fight the darkness. However looking back at old photographs, my long, healthy jet black hair contributed to my image. It didn't have to be boring but alluring and exciting. Why would I cloak it in colours when the night sky could be just as beautiful as daylight?
- Take in the compliments you are given. The majority of the time, people won't compliment you if they don't mean it- they just won't waste their time. Upon first stepping into the spoken word scene, it depressed me how unfamiliar with word play I was. How my poetry didn't entice people with a complex rhythm, with vast alliterations and clever word play. I was ashamed of the simple approach I had always taken and felt my writing was too straightforward. What I didn't realise though was, people appreciated my words because they enjoyed the simplicity of the story-telling. They liked how I chose to spend my time painting a picture with sentences instead of carving a puzzle for my audience to solve. I often spent far too much time looking at how my poetry was simple and not enough time looking at how it was different and unique in it's own right.
- There are so many aspects about myself I'm insecure about. When I actually sit down and list them, I realise just how silly they are. Like how I constantly feared people questioning my uncanny blossom of baby hair decorating my hairline, when in reality, it could barely be seen and the majority had no clue what baby hair was. The select few who did notice the unfortunate fluff clinging to the tip of my forehead thought it was cute and had no idea why I highlighted it as such a pain. This of course is just one of many examples, but as you go down the list you realise...many insecurities are honestly not worth the worry.
- Take on constructive criticism as ways to flourish and not a list of your worst traits and features.This is probably one of the hardest things to do- as not everyone can so easily take to hearing negative criticism, however it only becomes negative when there is no room for improvement. We evolve everyday, we constantly find new ways to improve and nobody is ever perfect. See these points for improvement from others as extra help,after all, like in school, it is always easier to improve your grades when your teacher highlights areas where you haven't quite shown your full potential. Saying this though there is a huge difference between constructive criticism and just plain rude, negative and unhelpful criticism. This you DON'T have to listen to. No one has any right to judge another person, they are by no means perfect. My best advice for this is to just ignore.
- NEVER forget how lucky you are. Everyday try and list 5 things you should be grateful for. This can be from the fact you have a roof over your head and food on the table to the loyal, supportive and caring loved ones surrounding you. It can even be as simple as the fact you actually woke up this morning and have yet another day to look forward to.
- Most of us spend the majority of our day at work. Doing something you don't enjoy takes it's toll on your happiness. However we have three options. Stay miserable, quit....or find aspects within our job to be grateful for. Maybe it's the location? The view from your office? The people who surround you, who make your day go that much faster? The stability? The financial aspect of the job and how you know after working a certain amount of time you'd be able to afford a holiday? A house? A car? You'll find changing your view point on a particular task can transform how this task makes you feel.
- When you're feeling down, lose yourself in your hobbies/interests. I often find after a tough day I like to come home, snuggle up in bed with a cuppa and watch my favourite TV shows. I enjoy the escape of watching a film, show or reading a book. An escape for many people can vary from going for a run, using music as an escape or even just sleeping off a tough day. Take your time and experiment with what works best for you and you know then no matter how tough the battles of the day get, your wars will wash away with the tide if only for a little while when you escape.
- Create a routine. This doesn't work for everyone, as some feel a routine restrains creativity. Although for me, my routine keeps me at ease. For example: I know the first thing I have to look forward to when I wake up is going for my daily run. This is something I've started recently, however it not only excites me but it's my daily dose of meditation. My run helps me plan out my day as I often run through my to do list- see what I did there? Run? Anywayyyy....I then have a good hearty breakfast followed by my shower and I know then I'm wide awake, prepped and ready for work. I also find that waking up for a run is far less stressful than waking up for work, I know then that I still have a good few hours until I need to be ready for work and I can enjoy a bit of 'me' time before I have to commit myself to my job. On days where I wake up to rain I indulge myself in another stimulating activity- avoid staying in bed because though you may feel as though you're doing yourself a favour, you just end up resenting your job for being the soul reason you must drag yourself out of bed.
- Surround yourself with people who make you happy and bring positivity into your life. There is nothing worse than being trapped in a negative crowd, use the people around you as inspiration, your support net and escape when reality beats you down. I automatically love anyone who can make me laugh, laughing to me, means happiness. Whenever me and my friends spend a day together we use up most of the day laughing and I honestly could not think of a better pass time.
- Finally, love your surroundings! Love your City, your neighbourhood and your home. And if you don't, then change this! This past year I have found so much I love about Birmingham, the arts and culture, the people and diversity, the events and buildings...ahhh there's just so much! My neighbourhood is surrounded by greenery and the view from my bedroom window overlooks the countryside. I wake up to the sound of birds singing and in the distance I can see the sailing club where the boats sail around the reservoir on a warm summers day. I've decorated my room with my favourite possessions (instead of hiding them away) and I've hung a beautiful canvas of the Brooklyn Bridge above my bed to remind myself that some day I'm going to head off to NYC and discover the many beautiful dimes the city has to offer.
I hope I've given you a little bit of guidance on how to achieve happiness and content, but really the answer lays with you. You always have the power to change and often a little step can go a mile. Take in some of my suggestions and own them, tailor them to fit with your life and I wish you all the best of luck.
Be yourself, life is too short to be anyone else.
Miss Adventure
x
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