Life is short and uncertain. It's like a thread of moments, woven together into one beautiful story, and we all have one. No matter how hard someone's chapter becomes, there's still a silver lining after every page. Like the sunrise, like how green the grass is after a thunderstorm, like the city skyline and the lingering smell of perfume your mother leaves down the stairs before she goes out.
It's 2am and I can't sleep, panicked over the fact that in a moment this will all be gone. My bed, my clothes, my room, my beautiful furry little companion sat beside me (bella my kitty). And when it is, what do I leave behind? In 100 years time, will anyone know who I am? Or who you are?
But then I remember, I'm not living for anyone else, I'm not living for a legacy, I'm living for me. So in 100 years time if no one remembers my name, I've seen the sunset along the shore with my toes in the sand on San Antonio Bay and that's good enough for me. And for a day have you ever tried living like every moment is your last? Try it, it's like a permanent high. The air feels so much fresher, the buildings become new again, the cars suddenly become so much more spectacular and the people...there are so many people. Ever thought about that? There's millions of them, they all have thoughts, stories, loved ones, pain, excitement, dreams and a past. Sometimes I forget that and feel like I'm the only person in the world with a running conscience, like no one else talks to themselves. Spectacular isn't it? How we all have thoughts...
Back to my point....moments...this is one. Right now you're reading this and in a moment you won't. Wonder if it's made any difference to your life. It's just a few sentences strung together....like moments....a thread of moments, woven together into one beautiful story, and we all have one.
We spend so much of our time rushing, we forget to stop and look at what's around us.
There was a moment today where I sat on the edge of the fountain in Victoria Square with a loved one and actually spared a moment to take in my surroundings. Birmingham City Centre is such a beautiful place. I often see it so busy, there's usually a constant flow of traffic, tourists and residents bustling through the streets. The faint sounds of buskers lighting the summer air and the chatter of people immersed in crowds surging towards various destinations.
It was around 7pm and the city had finally simmered down, welcoming the glimmers of a peaceful summer evening. The two of us sat there and admired the carvings decorating the Town Hall and contemplated who and what occupied the many beautiful buildings surrounding us.
At one point a strange man (who had once ruffled my boyfriend's hair) approached us and the both of us simultaneously sighed, probably a little unfairly, as we both just assumed he would ask for money. However we were pleasantly surprised at the fact he just came over and spoke to us. Strange isn't it? To think that strangers rarely ever feel comfortable merely speaking to one another. He spoke happily about what a glorious day it had been how down he feels when it rains. He questioned what we were up to and was honestly interested to know what we thought about a film we had just gone to see in the cinema (22 jump street btw- bloody brilliant). As he left, the both of us smiled and agreed that we were genuinely happy that he wanted to come and speak to us.
As we walked slowly to our bus stops we looked around and grinned at the wonderful buildings planted along the city streets and were excited at the thought of what and who were nested behind their doors.
There is so much history in this city and so much yet to discover, I am thoroughly looking forward to more lazy summer evenings where I can discover more of my home town one small adventure at a time.
Take away my phone, take away my computer, and give me a pen
and a single sheet of paper.
I will write you a letter.
Now I don’t know about you…but the only letters I receive
are bad news, bills and more bad news.
But imagine one dull, completely normal and not very
spectacular morning. The sky is a cloak of grey. Imagine the still air, not a
single song, no birds today. Your alarm rings and the little person in your
head is screaming again and again to get up and all you want to do is shut away
the world in tiny safe for a day….and swallow the key….but suddenly….
Imagine this dreary morning, one letter changes everything.
Imagine this letter is written on the smoothest paper you
have ever touched, the words as you trail over them indent passion into the
page….and here is how it begins:
The weather is nice today. If it is grey, great because
there are only blue skies to look forward to.
If there are blue skies and
sunshine then look up and devour an ocean that will never fall.
If it is
raining step outside and feel the sky cry. Feel the tears of joy because the
clouds have just witnessed a mother lay eyes on her new born baby. Feel the
tears of sadness because the stars have just seen yet another girl being
dragged from her bed to fulfil the needs of a man twice her age. If the sky
splashes lightening and throws down a handful of thunder then appreciate that
you’re stood there with a roof over your head whilst the Palestinian cries
because there’s no home left.
Treasure the searing sound of your alarm at 6:30am and
appreciate the fact that you actually woke up and that the searing sounds
weren’t screams of the tortured or bombs blasting an entire village into an
eternal sleep….
Sleep in a bed woven in safety and comfort,
And how about the next time you’re on your way, carrying out
your ordinary day, you actually take in the colours. Stop moaning for summer
because there’s so much of every season to discover.
And view rush hour traffic jams as an unwanted gifts from
the city, but a gift none the less. We speed down the roads so fast we hardly
soak in the view surrounding us. Like how people actually built the buildings
around us, how the streets once didn’t exist and how at night the street lights
wouldn’t pave the way so nightlife had a completely different meaning.
Go back to believing the moon follows your car only to watch
if you got home safely and know that if you’re ever feeling lonely, then she’ll
be there, guiding you to the ends of the earth until the sun takes over and
embraces you into a ray of warmth even if white smoke escaping your breath on a
winter morning stops you from feeling it.
Are you seeing this?
“The best portion of a good man’s life: his little, nameless
unremembered acts of kindness and love” now these are words of worth.
Hold the door open for a following stranger and thank those
who are kind in return,
Smile because laughter and joy dance in the corner of your
lips like a forbidden kiss.
And for a moment just enjoy being you, and know that nobody
else could do it better,
Follow your dreams, be a go getter.
Surround yourself with positivity and positivity will
surround itself with you,
Light a candle on a cold winter’s morning and lose yourself
in secret stories, around campfires with friends in the summer glory.
You’re breathing, you’re alive and you have so much
potential,
I already know you can be, but show the rest of the world
you’re incredible.
Wishing you the kindest moments and unforgettable pleasures,
Too often we're told all the reasons we can't do something. Recently I've had the incredible fortune of meeting so many brave individuals who have advised me to just "go for it". No matter the dream or ambition.
I'm a worrier, so one of those people who have to sit down and plan one action over and over again before I even attempt making thoughts a possibility. Though organisation is a vital skill to have and will greatly support you in the future especially with management and planning, it can also act as safety mechanism, stopping you from taking that leap of faith.
So say you have an idea, an idea you feel will make a difference in society. Share your idea, gather a force of volunteers...people are looking for something to do! They will help you, just ask. Then establish your idea. I've spent a year debating whether I should turn my initiative into an organisation in it's own right, after much sought after advice, I came to the conclusion...all I need is a few hours and a little bit of patience and I'm pretty much there.
I fathomed for a ridiculous amount of time whether I should pitch for funding....I sent off an application last week...I have a debit card and bank account with a £500 grant in it this week. Though it may not seem like much, it is enough to start up my first event, my first steps into this world as the owner of a rising ambition.
Life is far too short not to carry out your dreams, the worst situation to be in, is when you look back and regret all the things you never managed to do. You never want to be in the position where you have to say to yourself "it's too late".
So make a list of 5 things you want to have done before the end of this year and do them! Be sensible though, visiting every country in the world in one year might be a bit stretched- one step at a time. But creating a manageable list is definitely a thought to excite yourself over...good luck catching dreams!
We all have those days where we feel unappreciated, depressed, like the world around us is falling apart and we regrettably envy those who always seem to be doing so much better.
Wanna know a secret? They all feel like this too on occasion.
The first thing to remember about happiness is, no one is happy all the time. No one.
If you were always happy, there'd be nothing to look forward to, nothing to treasure whilst it lasted. I firmly believe we're brought down to appreciate the times we sit at the top.
Be confident in yourself. Appreciate everything that makes you different and unique. They don't always have to be embarrassing qualities you hide away, when you embrace yourself so will everyone else. Like how I have jet black hair. So often I moaned about how dull I thought it was, how when I wore a black top my hair could barely be noticed. Last summer I even coloured it slightly just to fight the darkness. However looking back at old photographs, my long, healthy jet black hair contributed to my image. It didn't have to be boring but alluring and exciting. Why would I cloak it in colours when the night sky could be just as beautiful as daylight?
Take in the compliments you are given. The majority of the time, people won't compliment you if they don't mean it- they just won't waste their time. Upon first stepping into the spoken word scene, it depressed me how unfamiliar with word play I was. How my poetry didn't entice people with a complex rhythm, with vast alliterations and clever word play. I was ashamed of the simple approach I had always taken and felt my writing was too straightforward. What I didn't realise though was, people appreciated my words because they enjoyed the simplicity of the story-telling. They liked how I chose to spend my time painting a picture with sentences instead of carving a puzzle for my audience to solve. I often spent far too much time looking at how my poetry was simple and not enough time looking at how it was different and unique in it's own right.
There are so many aspects about myself I'm insecure about. When I actually sit down and list them, I realise just how silly they are. Like how I constantly feared people questioning my uncanny blossom of baby hair decorating my hairline, when in reality, it could barely be seen and the majority had no clue what baby hair was. The select few who did notice the unfortunate fluff clinging to the tip of my forehead thought it was cute and had no idea why I highlighted it as such a pain. This of course is just one of many examples, but as you go down the list you realise...many insecurities are honestly not worth the worry.
Take on constructive criticism as ways to flourish and not a list of your worst traits and features.This is probably one of the hardest things to do- as not everyone can so easily take to hearing negative criticism, however it only becomes negative when there is no room for improvement. We evolve everyday, we constantly find new ways to improve and nobody is ever perfect. See these points for improvement from others as extra help,after all, like in school, it is always easier to improve your grades when your teacher highlights areas where you haven't quite shown your full potential. Saying this though there is a huge difference between constructive criticism and just plain rude, negative and unhelpful criticism. This you DON'T have to listen to. No one has any right to judge another person, they are by no means perfect. My best advice for this is to just ignore.
NEVER forget how lucky you are. Everyday try and list 5 things you should be grateful for. This can be from the fact you have a roof over your head and food on the table to the loyal, supportive and caring loved ones surrounding you. It can even be as simple as the fact you actually woke up this morning and have yet another day to look forward to.
Most of us spend the majority of our day at work. Doing something you don't enjoy takes it's toll on your happiness. However we have three options. Stay miserable, quit....or find aspects within our job to be grateful for. Maybe it's the location? The view from your office? The people who surround you, who make your day go that much faster? The stability? The financial aspect of the job and how you know after working a certain amount of time you'd be able to afford a holiday? A house? A car? You'll find changing your view point on a particular task can transform how this task makes you feel.
When you're feeling down, lose yourself in your hobbies/interests. I often find after a tough day I like to come home, snuggle up in bed with a cuppa and watch my favourite TV shows. I enjoy the escape of watching a film, show or reading a book. An escape for many people can vary from going for a run, using music as an escape or even just sleeping off a tough day. Take your time and experiment with what works best for you and you know then no matter how tough the battles of the day get, your wars will wash away with the tide if only for a little while when you escape.
Create a routine. This doesn't work for everyone, as some feel a routine restrains creativity. Although for me, my routine keeps me at ease. For example: I know the first thing I have to look forward to when I wake up is going for my daily run. This is something I've started recently, however it not only excites me but it's my daily dose of meditation. My run helps me plan out my day as I often run through my to do list- see what I did there? Run? Anywayyyy....I then have a good hearty breakfast followed by my shower and I know then I'm wide awake, prepped and ready for work. I also find that waking up for a run is far less stressful than waking up for work, I know then that I still have a good few hours until I need to be ready for work and I can enjoy a bit of 'me' time before I have to commit myself to my job. On days where I wake up to rain I indulge myself in another stimulating activity- avoid staying in bed because though you may feel as though you're doing yourself a favour, you just end up resenting your job for being the soul reason you must drag yourself out of bed.
Surround yourself with people who make you happy and bring positivity into your life. There is nothing worse than being trapped in a negative crowd, use the people around you as inspiration, your support net and escape when reality beats you down. I automatically love anyone who can make me laugh, laughing to me, means happiness. Whenever me and my friends spend a day together we use up most of the day laughing and I honestly could not think of a better pass time.
Finally, love your surroundings! Love your City, your neighbourhood and your home. And if you don't, then change this! This past year I have found so much I love about Birmingham, the arts and culture, the people and diversity, the events and buildings...ahhh there's just so much! My neighbourhood is surrounded by greenery and the view from my bedroom window overlooks the countryside. I wake up to the sound of birds singing and in the distance I can see the sailing club where the boats sail around the reservoir on a warm summers day. I've decorated my room with my favourite possessions (instead of hiding them away) and I've hung a beautiful canvas of the Brooklyn Bridge above my bed to remind myself that some day I'm going to head off to NYC and discover the many beautiful dimes the city has to offer.
I hope I've given you a little bit of guidance on how to achieve happiness and content, but really the answer lays with you. You always have the power to change and often a little step can go a mile. Take in some of my suggestions and own them, tailor them to fit with your life and I wish you all the best of luck.
I sat in bed at almost 4am on a Thursday morning, but I
don’t know if I can call it that because I hadn't yet gone to sleep,
I remember three things from that moment: I was angry,
inspired…and it was raining so hard, splashes of water crashed against the glass
of my window like a hailstorm,
And then in that precise moment…something clicked…an idea
was born.
Okay so, you can be angry…but how much change can one
emotion bring unless words are put into play,
And you know there was something else I thought about…I
didn’t need your help to make it today.
My mother forever rightly reminds me to appreciate all the
good an individual does for you,
Which I’m so grateful for because sometimes you let emotions
get the better of you,
And you forget the many kind acts they do
And then you realise…your little outburst of anger is
through.
Once my red rampant wrath bulldozed against a fighting crash
of clarity,
A river of thought flooded over my irrationally raging
anatomy.
So what if you don’t believe in me?
Looking back now I can honestly admit I spent far too much
time trying to be seen,
I tried so hard to forever prove there were so many ideas
locked within me,
Bursting to unravel, if you only saw potential within me
They say I’m not a poet, I’m not a writer, a speaker,
performer or an artist
You know, I really don’t care. I’m someone nobody else can
be…I’m me.
And that is the card I will always bring to the table,
transparent poker faces of those who claim to be more-able,
The skin I wear is not my armour but my identity, and by
that I mean…a shield isn’t needed against a common trait known as vanity.
Surrounding yourself with exploding heads isn't necessarily
a bad thing
Because when the rest think you've already long lost,
nothing stands in the way of you grabbing hold of the win.
You can be amazing…
Now think about is…there are over 7 billion people and none
of them are you.
I've never contemplated the significance of that fact
And yet I sat there, almost 4am in my bed on a Thursday
evening…morning, unable to stop thinking about that.
You are the protagonist of a story called life,
No matter how successful those around you are…no one but you
can play the lead unless you allow them.
Don’t you ever feel second best when it comes to your
adventure!
Don’t you ever feel tired of carrying around this heavily
constrained socially acceptable persona?
Shred it to pieces and let it burn in the flames fighting
fearlessly for a friend called future
Let today be the epic moment where you decide not to leave
this world without leaving your mark
Let the realisation that you ARE good enough be your spark
Because I promise, as long as you always try…you will look
back with no regrets,
But thinking you’re not important enough to pursue your
dreams will be where your journey ends
I stopped typing, contemplating how unintentional thoughts
lead me onto this unusual road to self-discovery,
Ambitions have no limit, never stop dreaming, someday you’ll
make it…it doesn’t matter if the rest don’t believe it
